Thank you for all your thoughts and prayers and warm wishes on Friday; everything went very well. I was on the table for less than 30 minutes, and after 8 years with the port, the PA was impressed by how easy it was to remove. I'm a bit sore, but the pain is manageable without so much as an Aleve.
This is precisely why I'm aggravated that I'm having such a difficult time getting my thoughts out today. Typically I can put two or three sentences down and I can weave these disparate thoughts into a single post. Today it's just not jelling--I've started 3 different blog posts, and I just can't get them to make sense.
Even with the 80's Pandora station and my namesake song--which always makes me happy--playing through the speakers, I am just not pulling it together today.
Anyone that knows me, knows that I am decisive, and once I make a choice I then take the appropriate actions for that choice. I rarely waver or second-guess, at 50 I've learned to trust my gut. To be fair, there are a few of areas where I don't have any compulsion to make decisions, and I am happy to allow others to choose (please, do not ask me where I want to go for dinner--I do not care).
But this morning, 3 topics in and nothing was coalescing into a post that I would want to publish. I was sitting with son #2 and he suggested that I should write about my writer's block. But, who wants to read that?!?
And while I was grappling with what to write, I realized that this was the same way I was feeling over the weekend: struggling, stuck, and uncertain.
I spent 5 hours on Sunday sorting through my kitchen, clearing out cabinets, wrapping up things that will be shipped, and getting rid of things that are not making the move. Easy peasy.
Then there was the dining room table brimming with more stuff in the maybe pile than there was combined in the keep or donate piles: creamer and sugar sets, crystal from our wedding registry, Nana's candy dish, cookbooks, and so much more.
My Dad has a decision litmus test that he taught me years ago; I've internalized it and, for more years than I can remember, it's served me well. The Five Year Rule applies to all decisions: any choice that will impact my life in 5 years is one to mull over and spend the time to think through. Any choice that does not meet that 5-year threshold doesn't deserve angst or brain drain. This rule has helped me make so many decisions from the relatively mundane (paint colors) to life-changing (cancer treatment options).
Sunday afternoon, I began using the Five Year Rule as a way to determine whether to keep things or get rid of them.
By applying the Five Year Rule, it was much easier to determine which things would be missed if we didn't have them in our lives 5 years down the road. Very few things survived that rule, and those that did are things that I know will bring joy to us for many moons.
I'm guessing that in 5 years, I will be okay with whatever today's post is as well. So, angst be gone! Let's get today's post published.
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